Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory Is The Epitome of Bad Asexual Representation
The writers from the Big Bang Theory infantilized Sheldon for not wanting sex and then shoehorned him into a relationship, reinforcing negative stereotypes in the process.
Whenever asexual representation is brought up in media, one of the first names brought up every time is Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory. I'm asexual, and I personally hated Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory.
I personally hated Sheldon because of how the Big Bang Theory made Sheldon's lack of interest in sex the comic relief, portraying Sheldon as some Peter Pan who's stuck in Neverland.
So often, aces like me are infantilized and treated pejoratively for being asexual. This is because the world sees having sex and being sexual as a rite of passage to adulthood. This is the origin of the phrase a guy "Became a Man" after a guy loses his virginity.
I've been treated like a little kid because I am still a virgin myself. Am I saying I'm perfectly mature? Not at all. However, I'm not going to say that's because I'm not married, considering many people who have sex are also immature.
The Big Bang Theory then goes on to force Sheldon into a relationship with Amy, through forced capitulation by his friends. The show essentially erased Sheldon's asexuality & aromanticism just to make a storyline.
The Big Bang Theory could have kept Sheldon single and asexual, but they didn't. The show mentioned on multiple occasions that they wanted to put Sheldon in a relationship, because there'd be no plot or intrigue in their eyes if he wasn't.
This video below talks about how Chuck Lorre initially wanted Sheldon to be asexual, but the writers of the show decided to pigeonhole Sheldon into a relationship with Amy. The video also mentions that while it would have been interesting to have Sheldon remain asexual and single, they preferred Sheldon with Amy because their relationship gives Sheldon “a sense of growth”.
This essentially says to aromantic & asexual people that our lives are not interesting or intriguing because we don't care for romance or sex.
That statement above also says that aromantic and asexual people simply are infantine human beings, and that they just need the “right person” to “ripen them”.
It again reinforces the idea that sex and romance are what makes you an adult, and those who do not have sex for whatever reason just haven’t reached full maturity yet.
This stigmatization is amatonormativity in action.
Amatonormativity is a term coined by Dr. Elizabeth Brake at Rice University. Brake defined amatonormativity as:
"The belief that marriage and companionate romantic love have special value leads to overlooking the value of other caring relationships."
I wrote about a Supreme Court case in Sweden a year ago for @WeAreQueerAF detailing a case of two partners in an asexual marriage winning their rights as a married couple.
The couple had lived together for years before one person died., After going to court to prove legitimacy of their relationship, Sweden’s Supreme Court made an important ruling in favour of the surviving partner.
The crucial thing, the court emphasised, is that the relationship should be characterised by a close community in personal terms that occurs between married people.
Sweden's ruling was an important ruling to break down compulsory sexuality and amatonormativity, opening the door for aces to be ourselves and to love in our individual style.
So often, aromantic & asexual people are told that we aren't "complete" without a partner, that we are somehow dysfunctional maladroits for not being in a relationship. This eliminates people (like me) who desire to be without a relationship and enjoy being single.
Amatonormativity and its privileges can also pressure people to enter and remain in exclusive, sexual two-partner relationships – even when such relationships are not what that individual needs.
Sheldon was happy and contented being free of any romantic relationships, and yet the Big Bang Theory chose to shoehorn Sheldon into a relationship just for ratings.
Listening to the video I highlighted in my first post, you actually hear the video creators say that bringing Amy in to the show helped give Sheldon's character arc a "sense of growth". This is again amatonormativity, saying aces are not whole without a mate.
This is why I hated the Big Bang Theory as a show, and why Sheldon is a perfect case as to the need for better asexual representation in television.
Society in general needs better asexual & aromantic representation in television, so it can get past the idea that every pot needs a lid, which reinforces harmful stereotypes that prevent everyone from finding the relationships they wish to have in life.
—Songbird 🂡♠️🏹💜